pumpkins and poppies
the clicky button thing on my laptop isn’t working very well. every time i open my computer i have the unreasonable hope that it will have healed itself overnight. so far not the case. and whenever i try to drag something to the trash or highlight part of a paper, i have a minor anxiety attack when it takes two or three attempts at success. haven’t seen a lot of apple stores in chile, so this could be problematic.
autumn is without a doubt my favorite time of the year. first off, the silly silent “n” makes it a cool word. but also, what’s not to love about bright oranges and reds and yellows, crisp mornings, carving pumpkins, pomegranates, and thanksgiving (more importantly apple pie). i have the supreme good fortune of living in two cities with wonderful falls. and just when denver is turning snowy and cold and the crunchy leaves are traded in for ice, i head home to chico for thanksgiving, and autumn is still in full swing.
chile is in the southern hemisphere. aka autumn in the states means spring down here south of the equator. which means i have to go a whole year without the smell of burning leaves and funny shaped squash and trader joe’s hot apple cider and beating my brother in another run for food. not too pleased about this situation.
spring in chile means that time is passing. when i got here in july, time crawled by. like a snail. or a sloth. or an equally slow creature. a semester seemed like eternity. the only time i was ever warm was when i was risking third degree burns at the hands the temperamental calefont. the ocean was slate gray, and i wrapped my feet around my computer charger to maintain feeling in my toes. eating ice cream meant risking hypothermia, though i valiantly took the challenge.
but now the seasons are changing. and from this end of october, it no longer feels like so much time. i register for next quarter’s classes on tuesday. on my computer desktop i have a file full of links to potential nannying jobs. i’m in the middle of an email conversation with the director of the teaching program talking about scheduling issues. my american life is seeping into my chilean life. which means that my time here is limited. and when i get past missing family and friends and jack the-world’s-best-dog and the comforts of home, i realize how much i’ve come to love this country. and how difficult it is going to be to leave. time seems to be flying by, and i’m dragging my feet, begging it to ease up a little. most days.
but some mornings when i wake up i’m really tired. and sometimes the spanish isn’t coming so easily. and then i go to the kitchen and there still isn’t real coffee. and then i’m off to yet another painfully boring hour and a half of history and film in the longest semester of classes ever. and it’s hard to remember all the things i love about chile. i lose sight of the blessings and gifts that have been given to me. and fall into discontent. and start counting weeks.
time, oh time. i’d love to say that this battle with time is an isolated event. but sadly it is not. whether it be flying too fast or creeping too slow, rarely am i satisfied with the speed of the clock. the other day i found myself wishing time would do both of the above within the course of minutes. and was disgusted with myself. here i am, in CHILE for crying out loud. actually a dream come true. i am so blessed to be here. i have been given the opportunity of a lifetime to live in a foreign country for a semester, learning a new language and living a new culture. how could i be so consumed by the pace of the calendar. and so i discovered the root of my discontentedness.(is that a word?).
a lack of thanksgiving. the ingratitude of my heart selfishly wants more, or different. and wants it now. i have so much to be grateful for. i can’t even begin to list all the gifts i receive from our merciful God. i tried. and the result was a cramped hand and significantly less blank pages in my journal. and that was only a scratch on the surface. Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstance, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonias 5:18. this is my prayer for the rest of my time in chile. and forever for that matter. that i would live not out of want and greed and selfish desire, but out of thanksgiving, cognizant of the innumerable ways that i’m daily blessed by the Lord. and as a result, living in the today. not looking to tomorrow, or next week or next month. but living out the blessings and gifts of the present. not wrestling with time, but living out every moment of every day.
forgetting about crunchy leaves and enjoying spring in valparaíso. celebrating that every unoccupied place of the city is bursting with snapdragons, poppies and wildflowers. and giving thanks that beach worthy days are becoming more and more frequent. and thanks for the brilliant sparkling blue of the ocean. and for the smell of red ripe strawberries coming from the fruit stands on every corner.
